How to get Breakfast in Bed

Seduce your partner with a sexy wake-up call; if you’re naked as he/she is starting to get peckish it will become a really tough choice for them. Their best option- bringing the food to you!


Bondage for Beginners

Bondage, unless you’ve experienced  it, can sound daunting. But if you go right back to the basics (to what the idea of bondage is all about) you should see how unscary and enjoyable it can be.

Yes, the aim of bondage is that you are restricted. But how much you are physically unable to move is up to you and your partner.

You don’t actually need to be tied up at all….

Agree with your partner that you/they will stay in a set position (as instructed by the ‘dominant’ in this particular game) with (an agreed upon) punishment if you/they move during the course of being pleasured.  This can be as mild as being tickled (with a feather?) to being spanked. Or even stopping/increasing the pleasure you are giving them.

Obviously this is getting into the world of the dominant/submssive relationship too.

For pure bondage fun you could consider:

  •  Tissue paper (breakable ties)
  • Silk/soft scarves (feel-good restraints…just make sure they’re not to tight – to avoid cutting off circulation)
  • Handcuffs ( but keep a close eye on the whereabouts of the key!!)
  • The various restraining system you can buy for this (I’ve always been too far up the mild end of things to look into these)

If you are enthused by your bondage experience you may also like to try blindfolds. Just as cutting off your own physical interaction with your body will heighten the sensation of your partner pleasuring you, a blindfold allows forces you to focus solely on feel instead of rely on your sight of what is happening.


Making Memories

There is nothing in the world, I think, that beats the fuzzy pink glow of a good memory. It doesn’t contain calories, won’t leave you for a younger/more attractive model and shouldn’t (if you’re not too judgemental of it) ever go out of fashion.

(Just like to point out that I wouldn’t, necessarily, put cake, men, clothes in that order. Cake first obviously….then clothes?!)

So… to make a good sex memory:

1. Have good sex (doesn’t have to be great sex)

2. Think about it to keep you hopeful on a wet day (or during a dry spell!) or remind your partner to get them in the mood…

…Visual reminders (photos, videos) can be both useful and fun to make. But are by no means necessary.

Sex can be ‘good’ because…

1. You enjoy yourself / Your partner seems to know what you want

This means you need to say what you do/do not (nicely!) enjoy

2. It’s affectionate

Kisses and cuddles – turning a ‘shag’ into ‘making love’.

3. It’s memorable

Try a new room/location (oooh al fresco!!). New home – use the space! At the very least you can say you’ve had sex in every room in your house…..and if every other time it’s missionary position in the bedroom – you’ve got one exciting memory!

4. Nothing goes wrong

Really this isn’t so much good as ‘not bad’ – if going okay is unusual you should seek help. Not necessarily medical advice, (unless one of you finds it physically uncomfortable to be ‘physical’) a basic sex guide should cover this one I would think.

Group Games

Super sexy party games…

Double Strip Poker

The same rules of strip poker except this time every ‘player’ is in face a couple. If that ‘player’ has to remove an item of clothing than one of the couple must strip. Clothing can only be removed by the other member of your team – never yourself.

Hot Sauce

Ladies strip down to their bras and apply a line of very spicy sauce across the tops of their breasts. A man is then picked (randomly or otherwise) from the group and has to lick the sauce off one of the women. If he can take the heat, he moves on to the next woman and so on…the moment he stops another man takes his place. Man points to the guy who gets to lick the most cleavage. If their are unlicked women still around at the end then congratulations ladies – your assests are just too hot for them!!

(Note to ladies -I really advise that test sauce on a non-intimate area of skin first)

How to Write (Good) Erotic Fiction

Fifty Shades of Grey is a bad, bad book. It’s smut. Badly written, barely readable, smut. I realise I will probably get a lot of criticism for saying this (and the same amount of people who agree with me wholeheartedly).

Even if you did enjoy the book (and yes, I admit there are a lot of you!!) surely you agree that “naive virgin falls for attractive, wealthy, sexually experienced entrepreneur” is a thoroughly predictable plot line.

Plus I expect the Dominant/Submissive Society would have a lot to say about Christian Grey’s red room of pain  – none of it good!!  Though I admit I only read the first few chapters,  I think I got enough of a view of the characters to realise his list of demands from his sub – keeping healthy, good clothes etc are for his benefit and not hers. From my brief glimpse into doms and subs I took it to be a lot more caring a relationship than it ever seems to come across.

If you are intrested in trying to write erotic fiction yourself there are various publishing companies (including Carnal Desires and Black Lace Books) which offer specific submissions guidelines. These include tips for plot as well as the usual- length, amount they want firsthand and presentation of manuscript.

For my more general guidelines, see below:

1. Don’t ignore the rules of writing just because it’s erotic. Gripping plot and interesting characters are still are must. The whole “create two physically attractive characters and make them have lots of good sex” should really just be a point if you want to make a book worth reading.

2. Escapsism is everything. The general rule seems to be the fairytale idea – the lead character starts off as a put upon servant girl before she meets her prince and leads a life of luxury. It’s a good rule, but it doesn’t mean your character can’t have a bit of luxury beforehand – it’s what erotic fiction readers are really looking for.

3. When it comes to the sex scene themselves choose sensual, not explicit. This ncludes the act themelves, not just the description. By all means use kink but remember -luxury. Shock is quick, a genuine “ooh” of reading pleasure is always going to be last longer and be more fufilling.

4. Another word on sensuality  – it isn’t all about sex. Food, fabrics, even a good book can be erotic if portrayed in the right way. You don’t even have to write erotic fiction. Historical or even general fiction can still contain a great sex scene (or two…three..four…).

5. Have fun!! (Okay, yes, I sort of ran out of rules!!) but if erotica is escapism the “what would I love to do that’s naughty?” approach can only lead to postive writing results – right? Absolutely.

Age Play: An Introduction

What is Age Play?

Age play is roleplay where one member of the couple acts a different age. More often than not the roleplayer chooses to act younger than they are, choosing to revert to a child-like (or even baby) state.

This can be non-sexual, ( where the roleplayer is simply enjoying the complete care and devotion of a ‘parental’ figure and maybe even a carefree chance for play) or sexual.

The most popular form of age play is “Daddy’s Girl Fetishism” where a woman acts like a little girl while her male partner takes on a ‘father’ role. Age Play is only ever performed between consenting adults.

Again this can be non-sexual or sexual.

Sexual -This also links in with the idea of a dominant/submissive relationship and a ‘naughty’ little girl might find herself being spanked or some other form of sexual punishment.

How to Go About Age Play?

If you’re in a relationship and this sounds appealing then, as always, an open discussion about what you fancy trying and gauging their views is the first and only recommendation I would make.

If you’re single there are websites for finding a partner (try Informed Consent). A word of warning/ advice – finding a partner is child’s play, finding one that suits you…that’s the tricky part. Be clear from the beginning with what you want and don’t be afraid to speak out, change your mind or end the partnership if things aren’t working for you.

Some Basic Rules of Sploshing

1. Cover your kitchen work surfaces before you begin (boring but practical – have fun, bin ‘wraps’ – job done. As opposed to the “How the **** am I ever going to clean this mess!!” comedown)

2. Wear something glamorous. Okay, I know in point one I’m saying about being prepared for mess…but this isn’t decorating you’re doing!! The whole point is to get sexy – so dress sexy!!

3. Only use food items you know the other person likes. I deliberately didn’t mention baked beans in my previous post – doubtless a common item used in sploshing – because they disgust me. Imagine someone trying to use them with me in a sexy sploshing session  – talk about a total mood killer!!

4. Play on the senses. Don’t just rely on the physical feel (although this is obviously the key factor) use taste sensations too. It is food we’re talking about after all!

5. Have fun. It sounds really idiotically obvious to say this, but if there’s ever a time for sex not to be taken too seriously – this is it. This is also one of the few, if only, times when laughter shouldn’t give the other person any worries about their performance. (Custard down bra = excitable giggles. They’ll understand!!)


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